I was writing a blog post a day for the entirety of 2022. That stopped because I didn’t want to punish myself anymore :P

 
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Self-doubt is messing me up
Depression Jonar Depression Jonar

Self-doubt is messing me up

I am doubting myself again, and it is killing my mental health and threatening my productivity.

I have this idea for what I want my life to be, and the difference between that ideal and reality bums me out. It hits me harder when I am not in a good mood, causing my thoughts to spiral into all sorts of negative self-talk. It is a mindset that has robbed me of the joy of living.

I want it to stop.

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Mood swings
Jonar Jonar

Mood swings

I think I mentioned this before: I’m in the process of tapering off of my psyche meds. I got off Wellbutrin last December and I am down to 20 mg of Prozac (from 40 mg).

I am being supervised by a psychiatrist. So that makes me hella responsible.

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It’s an okay weekend
Thoughts Jonar Thoughts Jonar

It’s an okay weekend

I’m not freaking out that I haven’t done my errands. I am certainly not beating myself up over it. This means that I am coming into the workweek in a neutral mood, which should improve my chances of turning things around.

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Just another day!
Thoughts, Depression Jonar Thoughts, Depression Jonar

Just another day!

I’m depressed. I am content. How are both of those true? Well…

I spent all of 2021 reckoning with my personal demons. I practiced self-reflection — purposefully facing the self-defeating thoughts that I had grown up with. I endured the embarrassment of seeing myself for who I am. And then I learned to move forward.

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