I was writing a blog post a day for the entirety of 2022. That stopped because I didn’t want to punish myself anymore :P

 
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Ever forward
Depression Jonar Depression Jonar

Ever forward

It was difficult to do at first — coming off of Prozac meant I had to learn how to relate to my emotions in a new way. It’s like the neural highways I’ve relied on have all turned to sludge. It’s going to take a while to clean up the mess and get my constructive thoughts up to speed.

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Another short update
Thoughts Jonar Thoughts Jonar

Another short update

I think my worry is that I will keep doing the “unproductive” things forever. I’m not sure yet, but I think that won’t be the case. I played Elden Ring for 20 hours this week. That’s a part time job. As much as I like the game, I can already feel myself get sick of it.

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A good end to a bad work week
Thoughts Jonar Thoughts Jonar

A good end to a bad work week

I feel a lot better today. It’s nice that I’m able to turn my mood around ever more frequently. It helps that I got enough sleep last night.

It’s Friday! That means I had my appointment with my therapist.

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Mood swings
Jonar Jonar

Mood swings

I think I mentioned this before: I’m in the process of tapering off of my psyche meds. I got off Wellbutrin last December and I am down to 20 mg of Prozac (from 40 mg).

I am being supervised by a psychiatrist. So that makes me hella responsible.

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Just another day!
Thoughts, Depression Jonar Thoughts, Depression Jonar

Just another day!

I’m depressed. I am content. How are both of those true? Well…

I spent all of 2021 reckoning with my personal demons. I practiced self-reflection — purposefully facing the self-defeating thoughts that I had grown up with. I endured the embarrassment of seeing myself for who I am. And then I learned to move forward.

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On “Why”: Part 2
Thoughts Jonar Thoughts Jonar

On “Why”: Part 2

There are many times when I wouldn’t find joy in the experience in itself. The motivation for this walk is to kickstart my fitness routine. I don’t plan on enjoying any of the results of that for weeks, months, or even years. I am a results-driven person; a goal oriented person. I usually ignore peripheral benefits of walks like today’s.

But here I am, writing so many words about this one, teensy, tiny event.

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